Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
