im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
