she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
