and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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