So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
