I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
