how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
