he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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