lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize