Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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