Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize