I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
