Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This is my gift to your gina
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
