So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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