im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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