Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
