he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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