Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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