Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
