For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
