Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
