No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
