i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
