stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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