you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
