Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
