I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
