thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
