I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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