How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Randomize
