Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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