So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
