It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
areolas are like halos for boobs.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
