I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i drank out of a bidet.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
