lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
