Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
