sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
