Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize