Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
