Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
