You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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