WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
be right there i have to get my cape
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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