Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
