Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
