I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize