I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
