3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
