Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Church boner. Awkwardddd
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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