i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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