A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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