he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
