It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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