You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
