Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
