I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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