i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
