I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
