So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
