Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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