his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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