You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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