I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
