WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
